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Lone Ranger at the back |
Ace weekend in the Martyr's camp! Friday night's gig almost didn't
happen. Our convoy of 2 vans were as tight as anything at the petrol
station inside the Oxford ring road, but the closer we got to
The Croft, Bristol, the more disparate our happy caravan. I arrived in van
one (call name: "big black mamma" - yes, we did have radio contact) as
the night began and checked out the two music rooms, taking in a little
thrash girl-punk metal, nioce. The boys, however, (call name: "lone
rangers") failed to hit the M4 and a steely battle of attrition against
time and Bristol's dreaded one-way system ensued. Just as we were
billed to come off the stage, I began a solo set thinking all hope was
lost, when the boys burst onto the stage, 3/4 inch jacks and cymbals in
hand, and set up like Tasmanian devils behind me. The crowd were
buzzing by this point and ready for something loud so we gave them
LOUD. We played a frenzied set of 6 songs before my A string gave up
the ghost midway through the last song,
Payday Slag. It was definitely
one of our most fun and frantic sets. The late start meant Humphrey
missed his train home so he was forced to saddle up once more alongside
"lone ranger one" and ride down to Devon for a weekend of surfing and
campfires. "Welcome to Dennis," he muttered scratchily over the
short-wave talkie as we entered Devon on the M5. After some heavily
sardonic dreams he awoke on Saturday afternoon a broken man, so we
bundled him in a boxcar at Tiverton Parkway, heading North, and set a
course for
Putsborough Sands and some 6 foot, onshore slush.
We arrived via
Pheasent Country and the winds were racing. We traded in
our drums and guitars for wetsuits and surfboards and "hit the surf!". It was all getting a bit spiritual before Tommy almost knocked himself
out with his surfboard, during a rad freestyle move called "biting the
board without opening your mouth." He rose from the brine, dreads
akimbo, with blood gushing from his toothy grin. Luckily he had only
managed to bite a chunk out of his lip and his pearly tombstones were
all pretty much present and correct. We packed up and flew the windy
beach in search of food and shelter.
In the evening we revisited a favourite haunt of ours in
Mortehoe and
set the world straight again with
beer, fish and chips and whisky chasers. Come bedtime the wind roared and rocked our vans as the rain like nails hammered
down. No one slept a wink and I almost froze to death. Who's idea was
this?
The next day we decided to visit the old Victorian seaside town of
Lynton, twinned with Lynmouth and famed for its
cliff railway and
valley of the rocks. The brochure read: "fun in any weather" - Tommy
would probably agree. This is bullshit. We bid farewell to Tommy, as if
for the last time, who strolled on into Lynmouth Gorge like a ghost
from 1958.
Can't wait 'til the next Martyr's weekend tour!